


Spellbound Pixies

by starkziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M, Making Out, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Teasing, Virgin Liam, slight mention of the tomlinson family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkziam/pseuds/starkziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one for whom he would check the cupboards for monsters. </p><p>What happens when he comes back with a new round of nightmares for zayn?</p><p> OR the result of reading too many underage ziam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sugar Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Why the title? I dont know.  
> Why the story? I don't know!
> 
> Have fun!

His fingers twitched by his side. Palms clammy with sweat. _This is ridiculous._ He looked up at the familiar red bricked house at the corner of the street from where he was standing, glued to the pavement, unable to move his feet.

Looking more so like a troubled penguin. He blew his breath out. _This is ridiculous. I’ve been to their_ _house a gazillion times! Man up Zayn!_

He rolled his shoulders, straightened his torso and marched up with a pocketful of confidence.

He halts in front of the door. Hand raised to knock, before falling dejectedly. _This is so creepy. What was he doing?!_ _Why was he doing whatever he was doing?_ The inner battle in his mind almost forced him to turn back and retrace his steps back home, when a bubble of muffled laughter flew through the curtained window. It sparked something familiar in him. Old memories of creaky swings and tickle torture and blowing raspberries filled his head. And he would blame those for the sudden boost he got to knock boldly.

"Coming!” _God is that really his voice!_

Before Zayn could compose his features to bored/irritated/really not nervous, the door flew open and condemned Zayn to ogle at the unreal creature before him like a cat. _Damn he’s changed so much!_

The hair no longer short and prickly, it was brown, brown like the chocolate he used to choke on all day. His eyes sparkled with life and warmth, still the same. And that cruelly adorable button nose just made Zayn want to scream out his lungs and plunge himself into the Arctic Ocean. That’s not even half of it. His lips were now a sinful cupid’s bow, puckered and full and so…

“Ahem! Sorry uhh…Louis’s out for the grocery. He’ll be back in some time. You can come in and wait a while, it’s pretty hot outside”

Caught off guard, Zayn gave a feeble nod and made his way inside. It was considerably cooler. He had all but forgotten about the scorching heat.

“Would you like to have something to drink?”

Now that he thought of it, his throat felt like it was bleached. _It **was** hot outside wasn’t it!_ "Um..yea just some water will do. Thanks." With a nod and a smile to cry for, the boy turned to get Zayn his, now very much needed, water.

 

 

Zayn was a bad person. A very bad person. Purgatory would want to throw him out, if he was ever sent there. He just creep-ed his best friend’s baby brother at the door for god knows how long. And this guy was still so unaffected. If it was Zayn, he would’ve sent the person back or made him sit at the doorstep, but here he sits on the beautiful couch in the company of the never upset and more beautiful than the couch Liam Payne.

Simpsons is playing on the telly, _he still watches it!_ as Liam comes back with a tempting glass of cool water. Zayn takes it with a tight lipped smile _(get a hold on yourself malik!)_ and chugs it down in two goes.

"So..How have you been Zayn?" Liam sits at the opposite end of the couch so that he can turn his body completely to face Zayn’s, a look of earnest question on his face.

Coming out of his lusting state, Zayn can clearly see the changes in the boy in front of him. Those wise lines on his chubby face were new, his eyes carried a careful look but were free from the insecurity that had made its home there, years back. In fact he looked much better, much more confident. And Zayn bit back a small twitch of jealousy in his gut for not being there to see that transformation, to witness him bloom into a different person.

"You remember me?" And he did **not** sound bitter. That was just because his voice was croaky from being too parched. He was not holding any grudges. Not at all.

Liam, on his part looked adorably surprised. Those thick brows coming to meet the other on his wrinkled up forehead. "Of course I remember you! How can Bob forget Wendy!"

A sudden warmth seeped through his cells , chasing away the tension and bitterness. _He was still Liam! His Wendy!_ And Zayn just proved how creepy he really is. "Oh yea? So bob’s what helped you keep me in your mind." He wasn’t flirting. Honest to god. "And **I’m** bob! You’re Wendy."

"Hahaha! Whatever you say big guy!" His laughter rang out around the room, Zayn found himself eerily lapping up to the sound of it. Like a druggie, being granted his morphine. "You’re quite built up yourself now huh Liam? Am not the big guy anymore! He answered with a pout.

Liam shook his head and stared at Zayn with those nostalgic crinkly eyes. A look of disbelief and admiration clear in them. Zayn gave a small one in return, the undercurrent was too charged up. _What was he thinking?_

"God Zayn! There’s so much I have to say! I don’t even know where to start."

"Why don’t you begin with why you left." Zayn looked up from his hands to stare evenly at him. He sounded like a ditched clingy girlfriend.

Tension settled in his shoulders as Liam swallowed a little before opening his mouth –

"Hey LOSERS!"

Louis threw the grocery bag at Liam from the doorway. It hit him square on the face. "Ow!"

"Hey! You prick! That hurt him!" Zayn picked up the bag and held Liam’s face to look for any damage. Molding into his former self as easily as that.

Louis cackled, throwing away his shoes carelessly at the doorway, and making his way to jump between the pair, landing on Liam's lap. Zayn glared at him , while Liam blushed furiously and ducked his head into Louis’ shoulder, hiding his flustered self by head butting his brother. "Ah! Good to see nanny Zayn back! I seriously thought he lost a heart after you left leemo", Louis, the bitch, touched his chest in mock despair. "But I can see it was there in the hiding." Oh how much Zayn wanted to wipe out that devilish smile off his face with that stupid bag he still had in his hand.

He sighed and turned to put it atop the counter in the kitchen. Louis was going to have the time of his life teasing the shit out of the flaming crush in Zayn’s heart. He brought a hand down his face, feeling pathetic for his own self.

He was so not prepared to face this summer.


	2. When I'm Without You

"He’s changed a lot hasn’t he?" Louis muttered quietly.

It’s been a week since Zayn first saw this new Liam.

This Liam could pick up grocery bags without huffing like a 60 year old, cook excellent fajitas, talk to elders with none of that slight wobble of nerves and self-consciousness. This Liam would go for running at ass-o-clock and very well drive Harry’s pretzel of a car.

Harry who was right now trying to catch Liam as they ran all over the children’s park. Zayn hummed in agreement, as his eyes followed the little ball of sunshine. _Always looking out for you_. They sat on the grass, while the other two decided to demolish the place.

Harry caught up with Liam. His long, lanky hands coming up to capture him in a strong hold, as he wiggled his fingers to tickle the life out of him. Liam’s hysteric laughter reached them, and Zayn’s lips quirked up. He was getting red faced due to lack of oxygen, trying hard to bat away Harry’s hands.

“STOP! Harry! Hahahaha! Oh god stop! I can’t I can’t. LOUIS!!”

He din’t call for Zayn, like he would usually. Like he used to. When Louis would snatch his pencil or Niall would eat his pie. It was Zayn coming to rescue him from little perils of life.

Things have changed. He should’ve known this. Expected this. 6 years is not a joke. He could’ve spared himself the heart ache if only he had refused Liam when he first came to Zayn.

Unsure and hesitant. As if any slight movement would have him doubling over and running away.

_“Can you teach me how to draw? I want to make something for my brother’s birthday. And he says you’re the best. Please!”_

His big round eyes filled with awe, as if he couldn’t believe he had the guts to come up to Zayn and fear. Fear of getting rejected. Zayn fell for that pure, heartfelt earnestness. And both of them set up their work station on top of Zayn’s bed.

In the end Louis was handed a small flowery (Liam was too much into flowers) card, in it was a wobbly cake and a wobblier Louis beside it. Nonetheless Louis picked his brother up and smacked kisses all over his small face as he burst into helpless giggles.

And from then and there, 7 year old Zayn decided to stand by that kid and be his guardian angel or something. He helped him out in his home-work and other boring school stuff. He would fight off those stupid bullies and kiss his small scraped fists before buying him bucket full of chocolates. All to return that smile, that glow on his face again. He prided himself over what he did. He knew no one could do Liam any harm as long as Zayn was there to hear him out and curse those nightmares away. It was so simple and perfect. So _LiamandZayn_.

Well that turned out pretty untrue, when Liam was sent off to boarding school when he turned 11. For the first time Liam would be so out of reach! How was Zayn supposed to look out for him if he din’t know what the other lad was going through! He felt helpless, crippled.

Louis, bless him, din’t find it creepy at all. He reassured Zayn. Told him about the principle and staff and how good they were and how Liam would be treated perfectly fine.

He hadn’t gone to see him off. He couldn’t. _What if he cried?_

He felt the separation anxiety worse than the entire Tomlinson family combined! The girls cried in the beginning but got over it as soon as they were promised to be taken to visit Liam once every month. Jay was a strong woman. Even though Liam was adopted, she loved him and spoilt him worse than her own children. But she had not shed a single tear, simply accepting what was good for her son. _But how was it any good! How was she sure he was safe and loved and cared for there!_

Louis was as helpless as Zayn, but taking care of Zayn prevented him from thinking much about it.

Zayn couldn’t stop thinking. He never went for the visits. Louis couldn’t understand why, but din’t poke it out of him. Zayn was scared. Scared of what he would find there. Liam was probably happier there, or sadder. He din’t know which would’ve been worse. But most of all he feared the possibility that Liam didn't need Zayn anymore. _What was he?_ He would’ve met stronger,smarter people and realized that there was nothing special in the old and full of imperfections, Zayn.

“HARRY! Let the kid breath!” Louis yelled, shaking Zayn back to the present.

“And why haven’t you both talked and made up?” He turned towards Zayn, while Harry fell down beside Liam. Both of them trying to catch their breaths.

“What?”

“I mean, why is my brother still looking at you like you’re a heated volcano?” “We din’t get anytime to talk.”Zayn shrugged. “Oh really.”

Louis’ tone made Zayn cringe. _How was he so okay with the fact that I could possibly love is brother!_

“C’mon Zayn you avoided the kid for 6 years! You guys were inseparable! And now that he’s back- "

“Now that he’s back what! How do you go back to being kids! I don’t even know anything about this Liam!” Zayn’s sudden outburst was unexpected. _Was he so frustrated?!_

But wasn’t it true. He didn’t know if Liam liked Batman or he went over to Team Marvel. He didn’t know if he ate burger with too much cheese and mayonnaise. Or...or...If he wore converse because they were smarter and tripped over his loose shoelaces. _If he was straight or gay._

“This Liam!? Zayn, he’s the same guy who stumbled to catch up with you, followed you around like a puppy and literally built an altar to worship you!” Zayn looked away, not wanting to let Louis see how much affected he was.

“Mate. Just talk to him. You both need to clear out some things.” Louis put a warm hand over Zayn’s shoulder. “I hate to see two of my favorite boys being torn apart by stupid unsaid shit” _And when did Louis become so sensible. And talk emotional stuff. And why is Liam looking so pretty in the sun._

“Talk.” With that and a stern look, he got up to walk over to Harry. Leaving Zayn looking forlornly at Liam, who still looked like an angel, a bright halo of sunlight around his crown, as he sat picking at the grass.

 

 

 

_“Zayn let’s make a grass ring” Zayn opened his eyes, glancing lazily at Liam who was twirling a twig in his hands._

_“Yea? And what’s that Leeyum”_

_“It’s just like a normal ring. But with grass."_

_“Any pretty little bird give you one Li?” He smirked at  the slightly pink Liam._

_"No silly! I saw it in one of those movies Lou and Harry watch. The...the one where they made rings by –" He tried in vain to make a ring out of the co joined blades of grass. “-doing something and then went inside the forest hand in hand and then-"_

_"Okay! Let’s stop right there kiddo! Remind me to warn your brother to censor the television for you. Now come let’s make grass rings." He sat up as Liam lied down on his tummy, tucking his hands under his chin, smiling up at Zayn like there was no other person as magnificent and beautiful._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love grass rings.


	3. I'm Hurting Baby, I'm Broken Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became more than 2k and i don't know how! To all the kudos and beautiful comments! A huge thank you! You're the inspiration and push behind this chapter!  
> Chapter titles from "Sugar" - Maroon 5.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

The sun was warm across is back. Like an odd comforting embrace. He carded his fingers through the wet blades of grass. _“Any pretty little bird give you one Li?”_ Liam chuckled sadly before looking up to catch Louis and Harry at the boundary of the park.

Louis had his hands on his hips, narrowed eyes on Harry while listening to him drawl something out. Then he threw his hands in the air in an exasperated expression, while saying something heatedly, poking Harry on the chest. _Fighting._ Harry looked amused, and a small smile spread on his face, even though Liam was pretty sure Louis wasn’t exactly talking pretty. _They’re so gone for each other._ Harry’s lips moved, and then spread into a cheeky smile, as Louis ducked his head and failed at hiding his own smile, before pushing the other lad away from him.

Liam observed with a smile of his own. They had always been like this. Like one soul in two different bodies…

His eyes, on their own accord, turned towards where Zayn was seated. Only to catch him watching Liam with an intense gaze. Liam quickly turned away, to avoid Zayn catching his flaming face. _Damn his blood cells. Why were they so active!_

He din’t know what to make of Zayn. Seeing him after such a long time, he had no idea what to make of his behavior. He thought, desperately hoped, pathetically believed, that Zayn would be that same person. His sanctuary.

But Zayn had barely spared him a look. They din’t even talk. Just on that day when Liam almost had a seizure seeing the tan skin he had started to believe was a childhood dream, he had the fortune of hearing his voice. _So beautiful. Perfect as ever. Even better!_

Liam, lame as he was, thought they could talk it out and he would tell him everything. All those things he had kept in his mind while coming early this summer. He had to catch Zayn before he flew away to Bradford like he always does. And he did catch. But his worst nightmare came true…

_He hiccupped while soaking his brother’s blue shirt. Louis rocked him a little. They sat at the swing, in the park of his new school. New cage. So far away from home. Fresh sobs racked his little body as he clutched tighter to Louis. “Hey hey babe don’t cry! Shhh! No one will hurt you ever Liam. Here they will teach you so many great stuff! You’re a big boy now. You have to learn to fight your own battles yea”_

_Liam looked up, his read eyes puffed up. “Zayn hates me.” His lips quivered and another sob broke through. “What! No Liam! How can you say that! Zaynie loves you. Always has and will” Louis wiped away the tears, covering Liam’s pudgy face. He felt heartbroken to not be able to help his brother out. This was worse than getting arrested or even dying. No one should make Liam cry. Ever. The hollowness in the little one’s eyes will haunt him forever. But Zayn wasn’t doing much better. So he knew better than to blame him._

_“Zayn loves you” he repeated. His hands framing Liam’s face. “He loves you so much that he couldn’t watch you go away. He couldn’t say goodbye to you baby. Or he’d start crying” Liam’s eyes grew big, as big as they could go with being swollen from all the waterworks, in understanding. He sniffed._

_“Louis” “Yea babe” “Will you take care of Zayn for me! Make him those samosas and jalebi and...and watch batman with him. He won’t cry, you’ll see”_

_“Really. Sure leemo. I’ll do that.” A teary eyed Louis assured him. He couldn’t believe the bond his brother and Zayn had. He should’ve felt appalled. Hell it still weirded him out how much the both functioned together._

_But it was too sacred, for him to condemn it. Or to even think of it as anything but right. Just right._

_“Will you bring him to visit?” He looked so hopeful, but Louis knew Zayn wouldn’t. He couldn’t. So he promised Liam that Zayn would write to him. And with that promise, the countdown began._

 

Liam waited. A phone call. One letter. Even just one word. Anything.

But nothing came. Louis would show him pictures he had taken, of parties or camping trips or just like that. And Zayn would look so good, so happy, glowing.

Liam felt miserable for himself. _Why would he weep for someone as pathetic as you Liam? You’re 13 and you still cry like a toddler._

He stopped visiting during Christmas, lying to his family that the homework was too much and his boxing practice would get hampered. But everyone knew, it was the fear of seeing Zayn flee, yet again, if Liam visits. Boxing was the only thing keeping him from bursting into anger and frustration. The bullying had stopped completely. And he came to fully appreciate and accept himself. Found new friends. Laughed, pranked, listened to the stories of the gatekeeper, studied, thought of Zayn, slept. And the same again.

“Falling asleep Liam?”

Zayn’s voice penetrated his senses. And the reaction was immediate. His heart sat up to beat at a hurtful rate and sweat formed on his forehead. He looked up slowly, giving his body time to not look as wrecked as it felt. _Hell the guy just spoke! Not kiss you silly!_ And he shouldn’t have even gone there.

Standing there, with a hand outstretched towards Liam, Zayn waited for him to pick up his scattered brain and react. He looked at Zayn’s hand for a second, in disbelief, before grasping it. Zayn picked him up, and gave him a tentative smile with a small nod as if to say “alright there?”

But then he let go of his hand as soon as they started walking. Liam willed the hurt to disappear. _What! You thought you both could walk hand in hand! You fool!_

“Wanna grab a snack?” He asked me. _He asked ME!_

“Yea sure.” Liam squeaked. _Is that how I sound?!_

 

 

Half an hour and 25 “NO Harry that place does not serve diet coke” and “We’re so not going here! Do you see that sign, it’s like a hundred years old” arguments later, they finally were seated at the corner table of a small fast food outlet, which gave diet coke and had a bright shinny sign. Louis took the charge to place the order, because he din’t trust anyone else to remember his choice correctly. _Phew!_

Harry sat beside Liam with Louis and Zayn sitting opposite them. He turned to Liam. “So bud! Louis tells me you’ve got a friend visiting this time” He raised one eyebrow. _Louis._

“Yea. His name’s Ethan. And like, I talk so much about home and you guys, so he wanted to come see my place” “That’s great! Even I wanna meet your friends Li. They as geeky as you?” He pinched Liam’s cheek, making the blood to rush up and colour them a nice red.

“Haha! Yea! Ethan actually wanted me to take him to that ancient comic book store we have here. He’s completely crazy.” Liam shook his head, he missed the guy, even though they literally lived in each other’s asses! Zayn hadn’t uttered a word, he looked up to see him staring at the window with a tight jaw. _He hates me so much? …._

“Tell me more about your friends! I wanna hear it all” Harry pushed. So Liam turned towards Harry, if Zayn wasn’t interested might as well talk to Harry, who din’t make him feel like he committed a mass murder or something, as he set to explain his life, in what was his second favorite place. First would always be here. Right here.

“Well there’s Andy, who’s completely bonkers, just like you guys” Harry made face of approval. “Then there’s Seb, Michael, Willy, Robb, and Dan.” And he set to describe his group of weirdos. He was so into talking about his friends, their mischiefs, and goof ups and how he had to go about saving their asses, he din’t catch Zayn watching him, drinking in his every word and expression.

Harry did, but let Liam continue. He din’t want Zayn to go back to being aloof again. As long as he kept Liam wrapped up in talking, Zayn would have the liberty to get his fill. That son of bitch had some serious issues.

"Any _girls_ Liam?”

It was simple question. Anyone can ask that. But Liam felt tongue tied. He wasn’t what you call straight. Harry doesn’t know. But Lou must’ve told him. _Whatever_. But Zayn really doesn’t know, Liam made sure he wouldn’t and he really doesn’t want it to come out like this so…

“Yea! There’s Cindy who talks too much but aces all the classes, and Miranda who’s got a crush on Robb and- What!” Liam asks as Harry looks at him incredulously. “Nothing. The list never ends does it?”

“Well if you din’t run away every summer to a new country, you wouldn’t have to miss so much of my updates” Liam teased. “Hey at least I was there last year and the year before that!” Harry frowned. “If only you would stop mourning and locking yourself up in your room all day”

“Hey! I din’t!” Liam tried covering up. He din’t okay. Not that much.

Just a little.

Liam was spared when Louis came back with armful of food. He slid down beside Zayn. “Liam your cheese burger, Harry your some shit, my delicious garlic pasta and Zayn your I-don’t-know-why-sandwich and diet coke for everyone! Did I miss something?”

“No you got it Lou.” Liam chuckled, picking at the paper wrap.

Before he can take bite, Louis stands up, hand smacking his head. “Shit! I forgot my phone in the car. I’ll go get it!” He rushed off before anyone else could utter a word. Harry shrugged before taking a spoonful of whatever he had. It looked green, salad-like, but Liam swore he saw some meat and stuff. _Harry and his weird food._

After about 5 minutes Harry gets a call from Louis, about some problem with the parking security. He leaves the table with a “You guys stay here, I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

 

Yea.  Well.  Awkward.

Zayn is looking down, with pursed lips, and Liam just wants to scream.

He takes a bite instead. Grimacing at the mayo, before an idea strikes him. He can be evil. If Zayn can be a bitch, he can be game too. And maybe this is the only way to pull out a reaction from him. Anything!

He takes the next bite and moans shamelessly, putting it down and licking at the dripping mayo and cheese before swallowing audibly. _Thank god Louis isn’t here._ He looks up at Zayn, blinking innocently.

Zayn whose mouth is slightly parted, coughs before looking down and taking a rogue bite off his own sandwich, chewing quickly.

Liam bit his lip to stop the smirk waiting to tear across his face. _Not working. All right._ He pours a generous amount of ketchup, and takes some on his finger. Putting it in his mouth and sliding it out with a pop!

“Okay! Am done here! I’ll just-“

“But you haven’t yet finished your sandwich.” Liam gestured. _He din’t give damn about that_. _But bingo! At least something!_

“Uh..i’ll just take it along” He swiped it up in his hand. “I got some work at the music store...so...uh I don’t wanna miss that.”

“Okay! I’ll join you!” Liam cheerily dusted his hands. Stuffing the last bite and getting up before Zayn could protest.

 

Letting Harry and Louis know where they were off to, they make their way down the street to the record shop.

In silence.

Liam walking behind Zayn.

_This was a bad idea. Pathetic one._

On entering the small shop, Zayn leaves his side to rummage around the aisles. With a shrug, Liam takes the opposite one, not sure if Zayn would want him anywhere near.

Soon enough he gets lost in the collections. He had limited access to music, almost none in school and Louis never really had many CD’s at home. But Liam had discovered a surprising love for music. Bon Jovi and Linkin Park during workouts or bad days. And Coldplay and Florence and The Machine for the sad ones. He had bought one of Hozier’s for Niall and was searching for one of those flashy boybands’ for Ethan. How did he like them, was beyond his understanding.

“Really?” His head whipped around to see Zayn standing beside him, leaning against the rows, arms crossed on his chest. _Was he blind and deaf! How did he not see Zayn! Was he standing here all this time?_

“This is actually for my friend” Liam defended himself. “Ethan?” Zayn spat.

“Y..yes” Liam frowned, trying to gauge Zayn’s reaction.

He surprised himself by pulling Zayn by the arm when he turned to walk away. Zayn din’t pull away. _That’s good right?_

“Zayn. What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

He snorted, confusing Liam more. “Really Liam! We don’t have to do this. Pick your stuff and let’s go back.”

“No! Stop it! Stop pushing me away!”

“I’m pushing you away!” He flinched at the sudden outburst. Zayn had pulled out of his grasp but was now closing in on Liam with a death glare. “You’ve got your facts jumbled kid!” And wow. He never heard him use that tone with Liam.

They were inches away, Liam swallowed. He was scared. But more relieved. _Finally. This is it. This were you both break down and confess and make up and kiss and-_

Zayn put his hands on either side of Liam’s face, locking him in and looked into his eyes, speaking clearly. “ **I** wasn’t the one who stopped sharing secrets! **I** wasn’t the one who changed into someone else entirely, got new friends and better company and forgot old ones! **I** wasn’t the one who ditched their family on Christmas to go partying with their new mates! I,” Liam could feel his breath fanning across his face, but other than that he was completely numb. The accusations cutting right at his heart. He felt his tear ducts filling up. _Oh no! No! Not here. Not in front of him._ “ **I** ” Zayn repeated, “wasn’t the one who ran away.”

That was it. Here he was trying to mend everything. And Zayn just sat holding stupid notions to his heart and blaming Liam without even hearing him out.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the hurt from ripping him and the tears, stupid stupid tears rolled out. He wasn't a crier. But this. This is so much different in ways he couldn't tell you. This was Zayn. And this was Zayn telling him, what he firmly did not want to believe. This was the reason he hid his damaged self from him, he was too coward to face the hate. Hatred and disgust on that beautiful face....

_He did hate you. Hates you._

Opening his eyes, he saw Zayn’s gulping, the guilt seeping in, in those ethereal hazel pupils. Zayn opened his mouth, but Liam beat him to it.

“You know nothing Zayn Malik. Nothing.”

And pushed him away to get out of the store, whose walls where choking him. He crossed the street and disappeared into the night, nursing his bleeding emotions. _He hates you!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad? ugh. Sorry! But next one is fun. Promise. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! Y'all are so beautiful.


	4. Red Velvet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is 5k! Loaded with a lots of YEMOTIONS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for posting late, but this is 5k and my hands are paining! the chapters are getting longer, and ittakes the hell out of me during editing!  
> A shout out to all the beautiful people commenting and kudoing because you do that, and i forget my sleep to do this!
> 
> Also! say howdy to NIALL HORAN! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Faster. Faster. Don’t stop.

His knees felt weak, joints cracking with every powered step, legs feeling wobbly. He’d been running for an hour now. But he couldn’t stop. He shouldn’t. Lest the nightmares should catch up with him. He was demented. But his body groaned for mercy. The cool breeze of the early morning touched his sweaty skin, as his thundering heart pumped blood furiously. He shook his hair to free the sweat. _Faster Liam!_ He pushed his numb feet to run faster, but they wouldn’t listen. What was a workout if his body couldn’t obey his commands!

Taking deep lungful breaths he blinked his eyes to clear the foggy vision. His head was starting to swim, the warning signs of fainting coming clear, but he wouldn’t listen. _He cannot stop!_

He could hear his heart beat clearly in his ears… thump-thump thump-thump…

 

_Raucous laughter filled the corridor. He tried desperately to back away, but they all were ganging up on him. He whimpered, falling on his knees. There would be scratches…_

_“What you gonna do midget? Call dear zaynikins huh!” The guffaws started again. And he shrunk in on himself, praying that the ground swallows him up._

_“Does he know! Does he know what a little dirty faggot you are? That you’d like to suck his dick anytime Liam!”_

_He cringed and hot tears started running. Stop. Just stop._

_He waited. This had to end sometime. Then he could go back home and pretend everything was normal._

_But it din’t._

_He felt a strong thick hand grabbing his chin and pulling it up, his skin burnt. A tell tale sign of more bruises to hide. “Icky Liam doesn’t know what to do” ,the bulky boy gave a disgusting pout. He shivered with anticipation. What’s next. A kick. A punch. What!_

_“What are you going to do when we tell your brother about what you are.” Another one. The slimy idiot standing beside the one trying to break Liam’s jaw, sneered. “Every body’s going to hate you. And your brother too. What a shame. They’ll hate him because of you!”_

_“And Zayn! Ha! He’ll be spitting on you the moment we tell him your fag story!”_

_NO! This can’t happen. He had to stop this! He tried getting up, pushing away from the wall of bullies._

_“Haha! Run away little Liam! As fast as you can! Or we’ll tell everyone about your after school activities!”_

_“Yea! Run to your mommy! Oops you don’t have one do you!”_

_Faggot! Faggot faggot faggot!_

 

“Liam.”

“NO! no no. Please stop.”

“Liam!”

“Don’t. Don’t tell them. Please.”

“LIAM!”

“Nooo! It hurts please. I won’t do anything. I promise. Stop!”

“LIAMM!”

He felt a hard slap on his cheek, opening his eyes in shock. The air whooshed out of his lungs as he gasped at the light. It wasn’t real. He was dreaming. More like remembering. He turned his head. He was lying on the ground. _When did he fall?_

“Liam?! Babe talk to me.” Looking up he saw Zayn crouching over him. He shied away from his hold, but Zayn just pulled him closer, sitting down beside him and pulling his head on his lap. Quietly he started stroking his face, with feather light fingertips. Liam felt his eyes falling close. Breathing coming back to normal. His body cooled down, as he assured himself. It was dream. A memory. Those days have gone, stop pulling them back Liam!

Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes to find beautiful worried ones watching him carefully. He got up, letting Zayn’s hands fall from his face.

“Sorry. I phased out maybe.” He said scratching his neck. “I’m sorry, won’t happen again.”

“Liam.” Zayn wore a disapproving expression on his face. _Oh my god! Did I say something? Did he hear it?_

“Talk to me. Tell me what happened? It looked like you were having a nightmare.”

“Uh nothing. Like I said, I just phased out. I just need to finish my run, I’ll-“

“Are you fucking mad! You’re shivering for heaven’s sake.” He looks down to see his hands shaking. _God I’m so pathetic._

“Fine.” Zayn snapped, bringing him back from his ride to self deprecation. “You don’t want to tell me. But you’re not staying out right now. I’m taking you home.” Without another glance Zayn took Liam’s hand and made his way to his car. _What was he doing here? So early. Forget that. He’s holding my hand._

 

 

Louis launches himself on Liam the second he enters behind a fuming Zayn. As if he had sensed the panic of the younger one. Liam collapses in his embrace, finding strength in the aroma of home and family. Louis’s skinny hand comes up to wrap around him. Without any explanation he takes him upstairs with a strong arm holding him up, soft fingers petting his sweat slick hair. How they make it through the stairs, Liam can’t tell you. He’s just trying his best not to doze off. The cruelty of his workout finally taking him down. It feels like he pulled a thousand tons with his bare hands. His muscles ache and his head feels heavy and swollen.

Once inside the bedroom, Louis tugs at Liam’s shirt, who pulls out of it and takes his shorts off in one go. He’s been naked before Louis countless of time, apart from being a brother, it’s just in Louis’ nature to be the most unashamed and encroaching regarding nudity. Louis turns to put the fan on full speed before tucking him in the bed. He pulls the curtain close, and sits on the edge of the bed

The shaking has subsided. But he still feels like his nerves are on fire. The faces are burnt bright under his eyelids and he’s too afraid to close them unless it all returns again, in full glory. He holds Louis’s hand in a death grip.

“Hey hey, it’s all right now bud. It was years back yea! We all love you. And those fuckers mean nothing. Nothing at all Liam.” He pushes the hair sticking on his forehead. “You’re a Payne and a Tomlinson. Such strong names to back you. You should never be ashamed of anything you hear me.” Liam nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “And I don’t know why you’re not telling Zayn. But hear me Liam. He’s going to love you as much, when he knows okay. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”

Liam nods again before turning his head into Louis’s palm. He wants to believe him. But the fear is spearing his insides, and he doesn’t want to think anymore.

 

 

Zayn’s emotions are all around him, scattered and highly confused, screaming for something. Anything that will ease the pain. The dread. He has been feeling since he found Liam’s body writhing on the pavement. It stopped his heart and then made it beat a thousand times faster.

After massacring last night, he owed Liam an apology. He felt like Satan, making him cry like that. He had been beating himself up all night, before surprising everybody by getting out of bed at 5 to catch Liam during his run. There were very few early risers walking around, so it easy to spot him.

He doesn’t want to dwell long on the fact that on spotting the boy, he just sat in the car drooling over the animalistic determined look on Liam’s face as he sweat his body weight out. Grudgingly taking his eyes off to answer Louis’ call, who had tried to reach him at his flat. When he looked back his eyes popped out in dread and shock, stumbling out of the car to reach Liam.

That pure fright still picked at his guts, and he was barely holding himself up. Liam looked so tortured, and he felt completely helpless. Whatever was tormenting the boy’s mind was too powerful, and Zayn wanted nothing more than to reach out and throttle that source. _You know nothing Zayn Malik_. He felt shit. No matter what. Today, he wasn’t going back without some answers. Some fully loaded answers.

 

He stood up as soon as he spotted Louis descending the stairs. Louis put up his hand, signaling Zayn to stop his queries right there. “It’s not my place Zayn, I’m sorry” He answered dejectedly to the question Zayn held on the tip of his tongue.  
“What do you mean by it’s not your place!” He yelled shoving Louis. “Zayn!” Louis shushed, not bothered about Zayn getting handsy with him. “Keep it down will you! He’s sleeping”

“Look Lou, you’re my best mate, My best fuckin mate and that’s Liam.” He let go of Louis’s shoulder and backed away. “That’s my Liam who I picked up, completely terrified out of his brains”, He huffed, throwing his hands in the air, hysterically. “and I’m not gonna just sit back till one of you finally decide it’s story time!”

Louis eyes held a plea but Zayn wasn’t stopping for no one. “NO! Either you say it now, or I’m gonna dig deep and find this shit out myself” “No no no! Zayn please bro!” The fear in Louis’s eyes was similar to Liam’s. Almost. That stopped Zayn in his tracks. He breathed heavy and fell down on the couch, head in his hands.

“Listen. I know it’s frustrating and you want answers. But they’re not mine to give. If I had a way, I’d make this so much easier for you Zayn. Trust me. But I can’t. Just give the lad sometime yea. And he’ll come to you himself.”

Zayn rubbed his eyes, exhaling. He wanted to tear out that expression that seared itself in his mind, of Liam’s tortured face. Asking for help. To stop the hurt. His tiny voice echoed all around his mind. _Help Zayn. Get me out of here. Zayn._

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Red?”

“OH YEAH! YOU’RE GONNA KILL IT DUDE!”

Liam held the device away from his ear and tried to shake the partial deafness.

“Niall am not a bat. You can speak in a normal frequency.” His friend cackled. “Right right! Am just too pepped up to see ya mate! Can’t wait to get you all dirty! That boring school of yours spoilt all my efforts!”

He laughed, pulling on the red Henley that he’d been fumbling with.

“Are you sure it’s safe? Am not legal. And I don’t wanna get arrested. Niall. I don’t know why am doing this.”

“That’s like the thousand and eightieth time you said that. S’true you’re not legal, but you’re an old and gold friend of mine, that in itself gives a green card to most of the clubs downtown. And if not that! I asked your saintly brother, so why bother!”

“If you say so...and Louis is not saintly. No way.”

“I know, but we all know what Jay would’ve said, so let’s be happy with Louis!”

“Ha! Okay. Fine.”

“Yea. And Liam”

“Yea”

“No being grumpy there all right. Louis told me everything. And though he din’t want to push you, I know you need this right now. You need to vent. You need to dirty dance and debauch yourself and not give a flying fuck who thinks what. Yea?”

A warm smile crept up on his face. Clubbing (illegally) right after you have a major breakdown witnessed by your biggest crush who’s your brother’s age doesn’t quite sit with Liam. But he doesn’t want to think, he just wants to laugh and not care if he looks like a retarded puppy.

“Woah. Thanks Nialler. Am feeling better already.” Then he sees himself in the mirror. “But am looking like an ambulance beacon.”

“Merlin. Remind me to introduce to the strip club next. You definitely have the ideas.”

 

With that and a few buck stuffed in his back pocket for emergency, Liam leaves to face a night of just “letting go”.

He has no idea how much he eventually does let go.

 

 

 

His face muscles are aching due to the Cheshire smile he’s been sporting. This place isn’t as dark and packed as he had imagined. It was pretty nice. More of a family club. If there was something like a family club.

He’s nursing a glass of coke; the bartender had eyed him as if asked for their kidneys. No pun intended. But he just doesn’t want to get drunk tonight. Niall drove him here, breaking every speed limit while talking to Liam animatedly, pushed him on the small stage, as soon as they entered the club, in front of the microphone where he belt out some old duet that sprang to his mind with Niall’s yodeling keeping him from jumping off from nervousness, then was pulled in by the crowd who swallowed him up as their own and just danced crazily in the mess of the bodies. Forgetting things like rhythm, character, responsibility, opinions. He just threw himself to the night. He hasn’t dared himself so much in a lifetime. He feel so free.

And he’s happy he can remember this tomorrow. And the day after. And forever. His smile doesn’t drop as he takes another sip.

“Ey! There you are! The people’ve been hounding me to bring you up again”

“What! Really?”

“Yea man! Now drop that glass and come with meh”

Niall and Liam push through the throng. The crowd shouts louder as Niall comes up in the spotlight.

Niall and he were of the same age, studied together in the same school before he left. But niall’s always been this enigma to him. Short, blond, Irish with a truckload of confidence and loyalty. Once you earned his friendship, he couldn’t be shaken off easily. Something made them connect in a strange way. Niall never asked questions. He just knew. Knew when a person needed time or needed to throw up their emotions. And if you just came up to him in the middle of the night with dried tear tracks on your face and a broken heart, he’d take you in right away and hand you greasy food with a tub of ice cream. Niall was always stocked.

Everyone here knew Niall, and if you knew him then you’re a VIP or something. And Liam still doesn’t have a clue how he worked up to that. Maybe it was the accent.

“Okay okay!” He silenced the crowd, waving his hands. “Give it up, ONE MORE TIME. For. My sexy boy here. Leeeyum PAAAYNE!” He bellowed, as the light shifted to Liam.

He flushed scarlet, everyone’s eyes on him, but he was too high on happiness to be nervous or worried. He gave Niall an okay before holding the mic in his hand, throwing the crowd a huge smile, before the starting chords of “Give It To Me” started. He doesn’t know how Niall knew about his thing for singing. He still couldn’t give a name to this feeling. Passion? Hobby?

Liam closed his eyes, his head and body moving on their own accord, losing himself in the beats.

 

 

After the first chorus the crowd was singing joyously along with him, and he was completely into it, like a professional. Nearing the edge of the stage while taking the verse and making the girls scream. This was new. This feeling of having a pull over others. Them rejoicing in the voice of his. And him making them feel this way.

 _Could you speak up and stop mu-mumbling, I don't think you came in clear_  
_When you're sittin' on the top, it's hard to hear you from way up here_  
  
He loves Timberlake. It came out of his soul. And he could see it in the faces before him, he was doing a marvelous job.

 _I saw you tryin' to act cute on TV, "Just let me clear the air..."_  
_We missed you on the charts last week, damn, that's right you wasn't there_  
_If se-sexy never left, then why's everybody on my shi-it-it_  
  
His body swayed along the music. If you asked him any other time, he would’ve refused to admit himself doing all this. This burst of confidence overpowered his senses, and took control of his brain cells, making him come out in ways he always admired in others, but only hoped he could be too.

 _Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it_  
_So if you see us in the club, go on and walk the other way_  
_Cause our run will never be over, not at least until we say_

Just as he was starting with the chorus, he caught a familiar mop of curls. He could never miss that even in a mob bigger than this. And saw Louis jumping enthusiastically beside Harry. A shout out of “GO PAYNO!” reached his ears. His eyes searched for jet black hair. _He must’ve come_.

He finds him, with his mouth slightly open and looking like the sexiest goldfish. Liam winks before giving out the chorus. Shaking his hips temptingly.

 _If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice_  
_If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night_  
_We ain't here to hurt nobody_  
_So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me_

A loud roar of applause splits the club as Liam gives small bow, and a flying kiss to the ladies, before handing over the mic and making his way to his now howling out of control brother. Louis jumps on his back as soon as he’s freed from the sea of people patting him and praising him and telling him to do an encore.

He laughs as he spins a little, with Louis on his back, sticking to him like a leech. Harry ruffles his hair and smacks his head before pulling Louis off to help him gain his breath. Out of practice he looks up at Zayn to see his reaction. If Liam looks killer. Zayn looks illegal. With a tight white T- shirt and dark black jeans coupled with quaffed up hair. It’s simple but Zayn has this thing about him, he can wear a garbage bag and still beat America’s Next Top Model. The lights of the club hit his face, to make it look unfairly sculpted, slight stubble ghosting across his chin and making Liam want to whine. Zayn looks like a wet dream. And Liam almost wishes he hadn’t seen him. Because now he might be having a problem in the lower department.

He clears his throat to break Zayn out of his shocked stance. Zayn shakes his head before frowning deeply. “What are you doing here?”

_Okay. Not what he wanted to hear._

“Umm…I”

“Zayn would you cut it. We’re in a cool place so be cool not boring.” Louis mimicked a shudder. Zayn frowned harder.

“Louis! This is Liam.”

“Yea. I can see that. I’ve got me eyes back y’know”

“But...but he’s not supposed to enter clubs! Louis what’s wrong with you!”

Liam feels the entire night’s boost getting punctured out of him as he shrinks under the watchful gaze of Zayn’s. Before Louis can retort, he feels a strong arm falling on his shoulders and pulling him in a half embrace.

“That’s because leemo is Nialler’s close mateo. And close mateo’s don’t deserve to mope after stupid idietos yea leemo” _Niall had a peculiar vocabulary_. He picks his head up to throw Niall a warm smile, who’s throwing daggers at Zayn.

“Now c’mon Li, I think I heard some important people calling out for you. I think you might be getting a job here. Isn’t that cool!” He lets him ramble on about the bonus of working in a bar, while walking away. He quickly glances at Louis to see him throw a reassuring wink.

 

 

He finds himself amidst groups of laughter and praises and flirting. But his mind is not ready to erase the scolding that spoiled the night. He feels detached. Like he realizes now what a mistake he’s done by coming here. He feels guilty.

Zayn was looking out for him and he just ditched him to walk away with Niall. But Zayn had to stop thinking of Liam as a child. Specially when Liam’s thoughts regarding him where far from brotherly. He dropped an easy excuse and steered himself away to find Niall or Louis to take him home. _Who is he kidding he is a kid. Can’t even go home by himself._

He stands on his tippy-toes to search the crowd on the dance floor. He spots Louis. And Harry.

Wrapped up like two koalas. _Eh. Shouldn’t go there._

He stands there, smiling creepily at two of them looking like high school sweethearts. They were high school sweethearts. And no one can objectify it as much as they tried. They just, fit together. In ways, Liam can’t stop cooing over. He takes his gaze away to give them some privacy and moves only to bump into someone.

“Oh! Sorry. Am so sorry. I din’t-” He stops talking when he sees Zayn smiling dopily at him. His heart flutters when he drapes his hands over Liam’s shoulders, the heady cologne making him dizzy. Drunk _. He’s drunk!_

As if on cue Zayn slurs in his ear. “Just the one I wanted to see”

“Hey Zayn”, He tries weakly, trying to hold Zayn up. Their bodies slot together when Zayn pushes closer. “Fuck, did I tell how bloody fit you look in this.” Liam grabs his wandering hands and starts pulling him out. “Yea? That’s…uh..thank you! Now let’s get you some water”

“No”

Liam feels himself being pushed up against the bar counter, the wood digging painfully in his back, but his dick is too charged up for him too feel anything else.

“No. I want to taste that filthy mouth of yours leeyum! Give it to me huh? Who knew you get talk dirty.”

Another word and he would be coming he’s sure. He pushes Zayn, not too far in case he stumbles and falls. “Hey what about we take this out yea. Too many people here.” He tries his best pleading tone and thankfully Zayn gives a sloppy nod before grabbing Liam’s hand and leading him determinedly outside. Even in his dazed state he can’t stop fonding over how adorable Zayn looks as he hurries them out, looking back repeatedly to make sure he din’t loose Liam.

 

 

Zayn gets to their car, which is parked on the road. Great. He’s got to get Louis before someone tells them to move it.

Liam feels himself pushed against it. This is the second in one night. Irish luck is not a myth. Zayn lets go of his hands as he staggers towards him. Liam’s hands fly to his hip to steady him. But Zayn has other ideas. He mouths at Liam’s neck, and the rough stubble rubs against his soft skin. He shivers from the feel. The scratch making him realize what’s happening.

“Wanted to ruin you the second I saw you up there. Shaking that beautiful little thing.” Zayn’s hands slid towards Liam’s ass and squeezed lightly, as if to punctuate his words. Liam makes a inhuman strangled sound. Everything is happening so fast! He’s got to stop this. Or he’ll get both of them killed if a car comes up.

“Zayn”, He tries to speak up but it comes out as a moan when Zayn’s licks at his birthmark. Hot, wet tongue, before blowing against it. “Say that. Say m’name again” His brain is jello, and accepts his command at once.

“Zayn” he breathes. “Yea baby. I love how you say it. Am gonna make you scream it out.” It’s like a bulb blasts in his head. His knees give up as Zayn’s hands grope harder at his ass. “Oh god”

And then when he thinks this couldn’t have gone any further. He feels a pair of chapped lips come up to cover his. Before he can register what is going on, his mind just wraps up any conscience left and throws it out the window letting desire unfold and take control as he brings his, till now useless, hands up to hold Zayn’s face and press his mouth to kiss him hard.

It’s happening and he doesn’t know why he had thought it would be a good thing. Because it’s fucking brilliant. Mind blowing. FABULOUS! Anything but ‘good’.

Zayn stands up to his full height, and wraps his arms around Liam, lifting him closer to his body, his muscle flexing with strain, and Liam feels it. Feels the heat thrumming in their veins. Zayn licks at his lower lip before dragging it with his teeth; his mouth falls open to let Zayn take the kiss deeper. The taste is tantalizing and so erotic. It’s something sweet, but he can’t put a finger on it. There’s a hint of bitterness. But it just makes him want to taste it all. He’s gagging for it. Desperate and heady.

Liam tilts his head slightly, without parting their mouths, to change the angle and moans at the pleasure blinding him. He’s breathless, but fuck oxygen if he can taste more of Zayn, going on like this. Zayn licks at his teeth and maps the contours of his mouth as Liam’s eyes close, wanting to drown in the myriad of emotions rushing through him, and not let the beautiful olive skin distract him.

He lets Zayn take control, guiding him to oblivion. As he shamelessly dry humps on Zayn's leg, panting slightly, his hand now grabbing fistful of soft raven hair and tugging at it.

And it’s all but a kiss. He feels himself getting painfully hard, but he doesn’t want to stop. He never wants this to stop. This is life. This is drug. This is what he was missing every day, every second. This is everything. This is utter bliss.

Zayn kisses him like a mad man, possessed by a passionate spirit. His hold is strong and his tongue is relentless in discovering Liam’s mouth. But Liam feels the love; it’s there in the little nibbles Zayn gives when Liam needs to take a breath or the adoring look when he launches himself back too early, knowing that he has to take a break to breathe again but still can’t resist the need. He’s melting and building back. He feels stronger than ever before, invincible. But at the same time, he feels exposed, weak. There’s no turning back from this. He’s laid himself bare. He’s given up his heart. And now it’s in the hands of this beautiful creature devouring him.

Zayn bites his lips hard, almost drawing blood and Liam’s eyes roll back into his head. He’s so close. So close. Just one more push. And...

 

 

This moment of his life. He’s gonna remember even after death. For two reasons. One, because finally Zayn kissed him. Bloody brilliantly too.

And two, because of that stupid blaring horn that cockblocked them.

“HEY! For fuck’s sake! Take it inside you fags!”

Zayn growled annoyed, mouth still attached to Liam’s, before turning his head to pick up a fight with whoever worthless idiot din’t understand the term privacy. Liam eyes the bulky man behind the wheel and quickly pulls Zayn back by his shirt. “Sorry sir!” The man grumbles before driving to the next slot to park his vehicle. Liam pulls them out of the way and makes Zayn look up at him, trying to pull him away from following the offender.

“Hey Zayn! Zayn look at me! I’m fine. Okay. He din’t do anything.”

Zayn rakes his eyes up and down Liam’s body. _Don’t blush he’s just if you’re hurt you pervert!_

“You are?” Zayn’s hands come back to cup his face and he melts. “Yea” And Zayn starts to lower his mouth to resume their previous activities. But Liam, with a strong hand and a stronger will holds Zayn away. He quickly adds, when he sees the hurt look cross those Adonis features.

“Let’s just sit in the car yea? Don’t wanna get road rolled. C’mon”

By god’s grace they make it to the car. And sit. Not in but on it. The boot to be precise.

He doesn’t know what made Zayn come out of his lusting state but he looks much less like he’s about to jump Liam’s bones. Liam’s a bit disappointed. Just a bit. But that horn and the bulk of a man helped his body to cool down considerably too. He shifts, trying to be comfortable.

“I din’t know you sing. So well.” Zayn speaks out. Liam blushes, his heart is still racing and his lips feel sore and swollen. He doesn’t know what to say. But more importantly, he’s not confident if he can speak clearly or it’ll just come out as a whimper.

“You nailed it. Never missed a beat. Not even one. Crafted the falsettos. Even the sotto voice was bang on. You are something Liam.” Zayn turned to look at Liam, with admiration clouding his eyes, as if he’s seeing a new person and he couldn’t be any more proud-er.

The night was quite, except the muffled music from the bar. And Zayn looked angelic in the dim lights. Isn’t this what he wanted? For Zayn to love him. Admire him. Adore him. Be proud of him. And now that he’s finally achieved it.

He doesn’t know what comes to his mind that results him in blurting out, “I’m virgin.” He slaps his hand on his mouth. “Oh god. I don’t know why I said that. M’sorry. I’m so damn stupid.”

“No no you’re not. You’re not stupid all right.” Zayn holds down Liam’s flying hands. “That’s a …that’s a very important thing to say Liam. You did the right thing. Good boy.” Liam nods slowly, calming down. He tries to read what’s going on Zayn’s mind, then he sees him paling. “Wha-!”

 

Before he could reach out to steady him, Zayn ducks and throws up all over the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ew. okay. I promise, next time zayn will end the kiss in a better way. Forgive him please. 
> 
> Song- give it to me by timbaland,timberlake and nelly furtado!
> 
> Thank you for reading my amateur writing and not bashing me up! haha! A big hug to you all!  
> Your every comment and kudo is a fuel to me, so don't stop!
> 
> PS: zlpayne, this is half happy and confession right! right? :D


	5. I'm Something Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zouis Talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrry!! Zayn needed some time to come out of the toilet. Hence this later than late update!
> 
> Enjoy! :D

He beat Voldermort.

He’s worse than President Snow.

Man. Even Satan would look like a fairy before him.

 

 

Zayn lies on his bed, staring clueless, at the ceiling, sweat slicking his skin after spending the entire morning with his face inside the toilet seat, emptying his body weight. His eyes are burning, insides of his throat bitter and papery and he’s too weak to make any noise. He feels like Thor just hammered his brains, the ringing never stops. But the ache in the heart overpowers all of that.

_Regret? No._

Being the sick person he is, of all things he should be feeling, there isn’t a cell of his that regrets what happened last night.

It was heavenly. The feel of Liam’s soft body pressed up against him, wanton and beautiful. Writhing for just a touch. Begging for that sweet release. The pressure just about perfect. Luscious lips for him to bite in and bring out noises coated with honey.

Liam was something different. It’s like coming in contact with Niall burned all his inhibitions. Zayn had a hard time believing what he saw. There on the stage, Liam sang flawlessly, all the dark scars that had temporarily made their appearance in the morning had been buried deep; the boy looked as good as new.

That did something to Zayn. Unnerved him a little maybe. What he had expected was a shaky panicking boy, but turned out to be someone who danced along with the change in the music. No qualms. No hesitation. No looking back.

And Zayn had to go and ruin it all.

A sigh left his mouth, as he turned to face the wall. He thought he knew how to control his alcohol, but damn! He was absolutely shit. It was Liam’s fault too, the feeble voice in his pounding brain argued, he had to roam around in front of his eyes looking so edible and lost at the same time. And he was standing right there. Having no idea what he did to Zayn. That all that red stupid gorgeous Henley was making him feel was to tear it away and devour what’s underneath it.

_I’m so sick!_

But that wasn’t all. _I kissed him!_ _Liam._ What must he be thinking of me!? Probably disgusted. I would be.

But it had been perfect. Surreal. And for a minute there, Zayn had felt Liam wanting the same. The eagerness in his hands and lips. He din’t push Zayn away. And that was fucking with his head. Making him believe that Liam probably wanted him back. Or he was too polite to say no.

Fear burned his heart. _What had he done!_ He forced himself on Liam.

He closes his eyes, wanting to stop the regret. What he did was regretful. But what happened between them was precious. At least to Zayn. He can keep that little piece of heaven to himself. And bask in its glory in the darkest of times. Knowing Liam would never want any of that.

All he can see is brown orbs darkening deliciously with desire, soft hands gripping him with possessiveness and an incessant mouth carving as Zayn willed. So beautiful. His boyish scent was stuck in his head. He din’t remember all of last night. But all his moans were playing on repeat. He bit his lip, feeling himself harden. _He’s so sick!_

With a pang he realized that he wasn’t Liam’s first kiss. It wasn’t a fumbled unsure one. Some bastard had the fortune to have it. He curled his hands in the sheet to prevent them from breaking something.

 

A soft knock made him pull out of his thoughts and turn on his back. No one usually came to his flat this early. His room-mate was off for the vacation. Who could it be?

Louis’ chestnut hair made its appearance, before that lad let himself in completely, shutting the door behind him. Zayn groaned. _And he had been fantasizing about his brother. Kid brother!_

“Yea nice to see you too Zed! Good mor-oh-Afternoon!” Zayn turned his head to check the digital clock. _3 pm!_ He’s been fantasizing all day! He’s sick and creepy.

Louis threw a shirt on him and plonked himself beside Zayn, who struggled with the T-shirt while scurrying away to make way for Louis.

“You’ve been caving here all day and you look shit. What’sa matta?”

“Hangover” He groans.

“Well Liam’s been eating my head since morning as if you had your ribs broken!”

Liam’s been thinking about him.

“Wouldn’t let me sleep out mine, had to come here and nurse your _hangover_ ” Louis flicked his head.

Liam din’t come himself, he sent Louis. He is too disgusted.

“Oi! Whatever your over thinking brain is doing there, lemme warn you beforehand that Leemo has an intention to breach your walls and have a grown up talk with you.”

Zayn sat up abruptly, making the room around him move in dizzying circles.

“WHAT!” His eyes bulged out. _He couldn’t see him. No he couldn’t. Not just after what he did!_

“Hey chill! He’s coming to talk. Not have your babies or something.” Louis snorted but Zayn breath stuck in his throat and he choked on his spit. Louis gave him a strange look, thumping his back.

“You’ve got me worried now. You all right?” He nodded before slumping back down.

“Hmm. Besides Liam’s kids are gonna be adorable so no need to look that horrified.” Zayn swatted Louis’s head. The visual image was already implanting itself in his head and he was imagining soft and glowing Liam surrounded by little brown eyed, pink full lipped kids. _Stop!_

He shook his head and frowned at his good for ~~nothing~~ everything bad! friend’s head.

“What happened between the two of you? Last I saw was him calling for help while you blacked out.”

“Nothing.” Zayn shrugged.

We kissed. More like made out on the street, for everyone to see, then I almost came in my pants from assaulting your brother. _I groped him. I’m so damn sick!_

“Okay. You don’t wanna talk that’s fine. But am warnin ya. Liam’s in the mood to have the grandpa talk, so better clear this shit instead of running away like you usually would.” A pointed stare was directed his way by Louis. He gave another sheepish nod.

“Since I’m doing all the talking here” Louis sighed. “How’s your artwork coming up?”

That made him crack a smile but frowned when his face muscles hurt. How long had he been brooding?

“Great! The professor said I could fill in the slot next week.” Zayn grinned. Finally he would be able to pull out his canvases and let them see the light of day. He’s been working so hard for the summer show, almost missed half of his classes at uni to complete the twelve huge paintings, now hiding inside Harry’s garage.

“Can’t wait to see what’s been keeping you busy the entire year.”

Zayn hummed, it wasn’t anything spectacular. Just a lot of his emotions bursting out in colors and paints till his hands ached and his insides felt empty. And the coffee machine groaned while filling up the hundredth cup.

He loved painting. And the best way to earn some for a lazy ass as himself was too get together some stuff good enough to get a slot in the town’s West End Gallery. Rich art enthusiasts from the posh side of the town came in large numbers, and if you caught their eye. Bye bye shitty take outs.

His classes had taken up a lot of time, so he hadn’t given much thought to the object to be drawn.

All of them where abstract, except for one which was a piece on his friends. It was one of the starting ones he had doodled just to get his hand back under the feel, while sitting in the university cafeteria watching Louis and Harry fight with his psychology questions. He hadn’t paid it much mind. But sitting in the dejected corner of the room, Zayn couldn’t throw it out. In the end he picked it up, and splattered some water colors on it.

It turned out to be the best of all.

He couldn’t wait to see mates’ reactions. Knowing them, they’d probably start hollering like idiots in the middle of the gallery.

“You’re family is coming right? I wanna see the girls, it’s been ages!”

“Yeah.”

He had talked to his mum, few days back, and she was absolutely ecstatic when she heard Liam would be there. His family adored Liam. Who din’t. And whoever did not...Why did they not!

When Liam would visit his house, before they shifted to Bradford, he would sit on the kitchen counter and watch Trisha cook, helping her with the spoons and plates. Even listen to Yasser’s stories about their culture and religion. His dad would joke that Liam knew more about the Muslim traditions than Zayn! The little kid found a way into everyone’s heart. Complementing Doniya every time she did anything new with herself, helping out Wahliya in school when the other kids treated her differently.

Liam was a resident favorite of the Maliks. And if Jay hadn’t found him first, they would’ve without a doubt adopted him the first chance they got.

_And how would that have gone Zayn? Then he would’ve been an actual brother of yours. You’re sick._

“Thanks bud. For staying here with me instead of flying away to some Harvard.”

Zayn had stopped counting how many times Louis had thanked him.

After Liam leaving, and Jay going through her second divorce, Louis couldn’t leave his family. He stayed back, leaving the dreams of hopping on a train to London to make it big. So did Zayn. Family doesn’t end with blood.

“Had to. Couldn’t let go of seeing your sorry ass friend zoned.”

“HEY!” Louis punched his shoulder, before launching onto the list of things they had to sort out for the gallery.

 

 

So this was it. The most important event was coming. His family was going to be there. And so was Liam. The guy he snogged drunk, not knowing whether he even liked guys or not, and then threw up on.

He really wanted to flee the grandpa talk.


	6. I Need Your Loving, Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziam talk!
> 
> "FINALLY" *grumbling in Zayn's voice"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the mistakes please! or tell me and i'll correct it later!
> 
> Hope You Like It! :D

He turned the knob slowly, clicking open the door.

Poking his head inside he saw a figure lying on the bed, otherwise the room was completely submerged in darkness and it was hard to make out anything. He cleared his throat and saw the outline of Zayn’s body startle and sit up. “Liam?” His voice was croaky, as if it hadn’t been used in the last 12 hours. Zayn switched on the lights as Liam pulled in his body and shut the door.

He had seen Zayn’s room. But then he was a kid and so was Zayn. And the Malik family used to live here, but shifted back to Bradford after Zayn’s grandfather’s death.

 

Liam remembers the towers of comic books and walls full of posters or self made drawings, which he would religiously gawk at every time he was given the permission to enter this sacred place.

Everything has changed. Obviously. The walls are no longer hidden under cheap posters, but hold intricate sketches of everything and nothing. The floor is swamped under stray clothes. The desk near the window still has a sky of fairy lights above it. _He used to sleep on that desk watching the glowing lights!  
_ The books have changed from comics to serious study stuff and pen holder has more highlighters and markers than small pencils and crayons. His eyes can’t stop consuming every inch of the room around him.

“Uhm…so I din’t really clean this place, was having a bad morning I guess.” Zayn gives a nervous laugh.

Liam startles and remembers the plate of cookies. He turns around and spots Zayn snuggled deep under the covers, as if to bury himself and appear invisible. He sits at the edge of the bed and holds the plate in his hands.

“Na! I was just looking. This is for you. I made it. Couldn’t visit you in the morning, din’t know if you wanted to see me.” He muttered, lowering his head. He felt the weight of the plate disappearing from his hands and looked up to see a winning smile on Zayn’s face. He looked proper wrecked, very apt representation of a horrendous hangover, which does nothing to ease Liam’s guilt that he hadn’t been there to nurse it away. He sent Louis! _Seriously, what was I thinking?_

“Only you Liam will make delicious cookies for a person as sick as me!” Liam frowned, before pulling his legs up and crossing them on the bed Indian style. He had a long discussion to hold.

“What do you mean Zayn?”

Zayn sighed, putting the cookies on the table and crossing his arms on his chest. “What I did after getting out of the club was insane and stupid and irresponsible of me. I don’t even know half of you but still I-!” He stopped, not being able to utter the word. Assaulted? Forced? It was easy to hide his emotions by himself or in front of Louis. But Liam. Pure, unscathed, angelic Liam should never hear those words. He din’t even know what the boy felt, and last night actions and then the cookie…it confused him to no end!

“You want to know me. Fine. I’ll tell you everything. Right now. And after that we’ll see whether you’re the sick one or not.”

 

 

Zayn stared at Liam, trying to catch his thoughts. His eyes had a tough time leaving those pretty bruised lips, he did that! to travel up and unravel those eyes. Was he so rough last night? And wait - _How was this happening!_ He had been tearing his hair apart demanding answers and now Liam comes and is ready to present everything on a cookie platter. _What! Did he miss something?_ He did want to know, but not at the cost of Liam choking himself to confess. “Liam are you su-”

“No Zayn don’t stop me now. It took a lot for me to come here and do this. This would probably be your last chance to hear it all from me.” That shut Zayn up, and he took his hand out from under the duvet, leaning forward to hold Liam’s and squeeze it reassuringly. Liam’s head was bowed and his body screamed vulnerable. Zayn was a few seconds away from shouting _“Oh cut this crap! I don’t want to know any of this. Let’s just watch Full House or something.”_

Liam takes a long breath and looks up. His eyes look as if they had traveled a great deal. Zayn couldn’t make out the emotions, because there were too many! It freaked him out.

“Okay. Let’s start at the beginning. Do you know about my parents?” Zayn shook his head. “Not much.” He just knew that they had died in a very bad accident and there were some rumors that Liam had been responsible. But again there were rumors that Zayn is a porn star. So…back to square one.

“We used to live in Wolverhampton at that time and Jay and her ex husband lived across the street from our house. So…uh...one day these burglars break into our place. I don’t remember that well. Mum had hid me under the bed. Told me to be quite and not come out at any cost. They took everything, but god knows what came to their mind that resulted in them stabbing my dad in the last minute.” His breath hitched. And Zayn’s fingers turned white where they were clamped around Liam’s. “Mum screamed and they killed her off too.” He gave a shaky laugh. “And I. I like a worthless puppet lied there under the bed, watching my parents die and not making a single fucking sound! Not even one!” His lips quivered, vision going hazy as tears flooded his eyes. “Liam.” Zayn’s both hands were out of the duvet now and were cupping Liam’s face. “Hey hey look at me!” Liam turned his face to look at Zayn and a sad smile spread across his lips. “They lied there motionless. And it was all my fault. I could’ve screamed, yelled, ran away to neighbors! Anything! To help them. But no. I was a coward. And their blood is on my hands Zayn!”

Zayn brought Liam’s face to his chest and ran his hands through his hair. “Shut up Liam! You were just a kid. A small child! You would’ve been paralyzed by what you saw. None of it is you fault baby! You did what you mother told you to. And it was the right thing.” Liam made noise of protest, but it was muffled by Zayn’s T-shirt. “Shh! I’m not saying what happened with your parents was right. That was terrible! But if you would’ve screamed then they would’ve killed you too. And no parent would ever want that. Wherever they are now, baby, they are happy to see you safe and healthy. And not in some asylum for traumatized kids.” Liam flinched.

“You’re perfectly fine Liam. And you did the right thing. Don’t ever let anyone make you believe otherwise.” Zayn rocked both of their bodies back and forth, slowly. Liam felt a calm settling deep in his bones as years of grinding under the misplaced guilt lifted off. He pulled his head away from the safe hold of Zayn’s hands and wiped away the hot tears.

“Jay was a close family friend and she din’t waste time in taking me into their family. Whatever I am today is because of them. If they hadn’t taken me, I would’ve been dumped into some orphanage.” Zayn shivers unconsciously at the thought of Liam being anywhere but near him. Some place, alien and unknown to him. And he would never have met the boy. He shakes his head. _Never._

“Then we shifted to the Doncasta, to Louis’s grand mum and grand dad’s place. And everyone just took me on like I was their lost child. It was too much. Sometimes I feel that I owe this family a lot, and should never give them a reason to complain. But Liam Payne is as pathetic as he gets.” Zayn frowns, another protest jumping on the tip of his tongue. But he just takes Liam’s hands in his again and keeps quite.  
  
“Primary school. Bullies. And Louis.” Liam snorts. “That was the summary of my childhood. I don’t even know how the word flew but some kids came to hear snippets about my parent’s death and my role in it. And the taunts started ruthlessly.”

“But Lou-“

“Louis would smash their skulls and get expelled and wouldn’t shed a tear because I was his _brother_ and he din’t care about shit.” There was irritation and a little bit of anger in Liam’s voice. “But I cared. I din’t want the Tomlinson’s to know anything! Or let their name get dragged into my stupid fate. So I enrolled myself for athletics and all kinds of sports so that-“

“-you could use the excuse of practice for the bruises.” Zayn felt the urge to hold Liam to himself again. It was eating him inside and burning a hole in his heart. He wished he could go back to the 7year old Liam and snatch him away from the world, drop him in a room full of chocolates and comic books and keep him in his arms forever.

“Yea. Don’t tell Louis. He doesn’t know any of this. It would’ve been impossible to hide so much from him, but then you came in and Lou’s eyes weren’t on me 24*7.”

“You could’ve told me about it! I would’ve taken care of those bloody idiots!” Liam looks at Zayn with melancholy. And Zayn realizes with a painful jolt that it’s not over yet. There’s more to come. There was a reason Liam hadn’t gone to Zayn.

“When I was in the 5th grade. A boy named Trev kissed me on my mouth in the cycle stand.” _They were kids. Liam was a kid. Stop thinking about busting some Trev’s nose Zayn! They were kids!_

“It was a dare. I should’ve known. B...but what I came to know was-” He gulped. Keeping his eyes closed tightly and coaxing his mouth to say it. “-that I was not straight.”

Before Zayn could utter a thing, Liam went on without stopping. Knowing if he paused, he wouldn’t want to begin.

“I was disgusted by myself. I was a freak, at least that’s what I thought then. Of course the kids found a new thing to grill me with and I felt like asking for the burglars to come a finish me off.” If Liam hadn’t looked so weak, Zayn would’ve surely slapped him. His hands were burning to do that exactly. But his mind was numb since the words ‘not straight’ were uttered.

“School became hell. And finally even Louis saw the strain on my face. I lost appetite and started shutting myself off. The words ‘fag’ and ‘shame’ were burnt in my head and I was going mad. Building the temple of safe hatred. Detesting my existence more than those guys bullying me. Louis confronted me and as weak as I always am, I broke and told him everything. He tried talking me out of my mental cage but I was far too gone for that. So Jay decided to send me off to her brother’s place. He’s the principle of Wentworth Boarding School. They decided it wasn’t safe for me to stay here, in this environment. The teachers there helped me out a great deal. The best thing was, everyone knew everything about me and yet they treated me like a human. Even the students.”

Liam exhaled, rubbing his hands down his face.

“So basically I was turning into a suicidal freak here. And I made Louis promise me that none of this would reach your ears.” He stared into Zayn’s eyes, searching for something. Zayn din’t know what he found. Probably hurt. Because that’s all that he is feeling. _Incapable. Unhelpful. Blind._

“Zayn I can bare seeing every human’s disgust towards me but you. I couldn’t. Ever. That would completely destroy me. I knew you’d hate me too, would never want to touch me or be anywhere near me. And that terrified me. The possibility of you turning your back to me. It sent me into a panic attack. And I-“

“Shut up! SHUT UP! Shut the fucking fuck up Liam Payne!” Zayn took a labored breath. _God! This boy was impossible!_

 

His hands grabbed Liam’s jaw and turned it upwards to meet Zayn’s eye. He saw despair in them and his heart burst to chase it away.

“You have no idea what a fool you are.” Liam’s eyes shut close, but Zayn continued in the same strong voice. “There is only one person in this world who can get away with murder, from me. And that lucky son of a bitch is you.”

His lips quirked up as Liam’s eyes shot open with a bewildered shine in them. “You absolute idiot! Thinking I’d hate you for being gay! C’mon Liam! Be real.”

The warmth returned to his face as Liam’s smile brightened. “You could’ve bullied me.”

“Yea really?! Have you seen yourself! You look like you’re on fucking steroids! One punch. And man down.” He did a slitting motion with his hand.

“I’m taking boxing lessons. And it’s for channeling one’s emotions not for promoting violence.” Liam defended himself.

“I knew you’d say stuff like that.” He sighed dramatically, shaking his head.

Liam giggled. And Zayn wanted to put up banners and fairy lights all around the town and sing on the top of his lungs. Finally. They were back to where they should be. Or were they.

He pulled Liam’s head in his lap. _He can do that anytime now!_

“Oh! And I have panic attacks frequently. Like that day during my run when you found me salivating on the ground. I was having hallucinations of some kind. Add that to the list of my freak genes.”

“Yea? You look pretty hot during those, then. Like you're getting yourself off!”

Liam slapped Zayn’s hand away from his hair as the older one started laughing. He felt his own smile widening and nuzzled his nose in Zayn’s palm.

“Haha! Seriously you’re like this little pup! Good to see things haven’t changed all that much. And for the record, I’m bisexual, so you should stop calling yourself weird babe.” He ruffled the soft brown hair.

Liam sighed softly and kissed Zayn’s hand from where he was snuggled, tugging his legs and closing his eyes. Safe. And content. And on top of the world.

 

_He doesn’t hate me._

 

_He might like me!_

_Who am I kidding? He does like me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liam can/will never ever ever EVER let go of Zayn. He got a taste. And he ain't letting go that easy ;)
> 
> Thank you for all you're beautiful comments! It helps me to write more and makes me so happy! So if you like this, you can give "kudos" and "comments" and let me know if i'm doing it right!


	7. I'm On My Knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam's on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was anyone waiting? God, i know i'm pathetic.
> 
> But frankly, a crying and sad Liam Payne just makes me not write at all!
> 
> This is actually half of the chapter, the rest needs editing but i had to give out something! So...
> 
> Enjoy :)

_The water slides along his back collecting in a puddle at his feet, where he’s squatted. He lowers his head, not breaking the eye contact. The heat coiling under his skin is strong, setting his senses on fire, turning him on to no end. His lips catch on the leaking head as he smears the precome over his lips, before licking it off as slow and sensuous as he can without nutting off._

_Zayn’s fingers tighten in his wet hair. The dribbling water from the shower making him appear unreal and breath taking._

_He sees the fight in Zayn’s eyes, and promptly snakes his tongue out to taste more. Zayn’s eyes narrow, jaw clenching firmly. He’s holding back. But Liam doesn’t want that. He rakes his nail down Zayn’s thighs, angry red marks follow, causing Zayn to accidentally thrust forward right into Liam’s waiting mouth._

_Liam hums long and pained like a man starved for ages. He laps at the head, making obscene quiet sucking noises, knowing well how they mess with Zayn’s head. Zayn’s dick grows harder and Liam swoons from the weight on his tongue, the way his lips stretch further to take all of Zayn._

_Zayn’s eyes flutter close as he moves in a steady rhythm, fucking into the hot wet mouth without abandon and Liam loves every minute of it. He sucks harder, wanting Zayn to forget everything. All those stupid talks of age and barrier and morality. He wants him to know that Liam wants this. With every fiber of his being. Wants to be loved, cherished and owned by Zayn. He gags at a particular hard thrust and looks up to catch dark eyes devouring him. He swirls his tongue across the slit._

_“Take it baby. Made me wait so long for this.”_

_Zayn’s hands come to caress his cheek, hollowed around his dick. The pad of his fingers feather across his lips, threatening to push in along with his cock. “Take it all.” Those words and the building thrusts make him gasp. His eyes water. The steam in the shower getting thicker._

_“So good. So damn good. Yea just like that. Gonna spill in that pretty mouth babe. Take it all.” Zayn’s thrusts get sloppy and he’s so close. His hand hasn’t left Liam’s face, pressing in softly to feel him through his cheek. Liam prepares himself to swallow him down. Whole. Just one more…_

 

“Liam aren’t you done yet!”

The sudden pounding on the door and Zayn’s voice so loud and close and _real_ , makes Liam curse and spill in his hands. His body shaking with the powerful orgasm. He opens his eyes to glare at the bathroom door, panting quietly as he cleans the mess he made. Alone.

The water was turning cold, telling Liam to finally fucking leave the shower. He’s been in here for more than two hours now but he doesn’t want to move. That’s all he’s good for now. Wank in the shower.

You would think after the long drawn heart to heart between them, they’d finally be on the same page. But then Zayn gave him “The Talk.” Which makes Liam shudder more than from the icy water pouring on him. He turns off the shower when he hears another round of poundings on his bathroom door. He does a quick job of wrapping his lower half in a dry towel while drying his hair with another.

He never wants to think about that talk. It was downright embarrassing and humiliating. Apart from the fact that Liam wanted to contradict every sentence of it.

As if he was a pervert kid with a Daddy kink. He knows his feelings for the older lad aren’t anywhere near platonic, there can’t be any doubt after what happened in the shower, but that doesn’t mean the attraction is in favor of the age difference. For all he knows that’s actually a factor he wishes wasn’t there. Zayn wouldn’t be so guilty for kissing Liam then, or being with him.

He’s been avoiding Zayn. But since it’s mutual so they both see less of the other. Louis doesn’t catch on the tension because he’s too busy handling the house with Jay gone. But adopted or not, Liam is Louis Tomlinson’s brother and he just realized he’s not going to give up so soon. He’s got some pla-

“Liam! What are you doing!”

He opens the door abruptly letting the steam engulf Zayn’s annoyed face. _You deserve that for interfering._ Zayn grimaces before shutting the door and turning around to face Liam, who is sitting at the edge of his bed and shaking the water off his hair like a wet dog.

Zayn sighs, stepping away from the spray. Him and Louis were downstairs battling their way through the kitchen. Liam had to flee when the chili powder came in Louis’ wandering hands. It was becoming painfully awkward for Zayn to walk on eggshells near Liam. _Can anything between them ever be normal!_  
  
“You wanted something?” His wet hair makes a crown around his head while an adorable little pout sits on his lips. Zayn shakes himself.

“Breakfast is ready. How long have you been inside?” Liam shrugs but is saved from an explanation when the bell rings.

It’s like another bell has gone off in his head. Shit! Ethan was supposed to be here! How did he forget! He leaps off the bed and hurries towards the door, halting when Zayn grabs his elbow in a stronghold. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh...Ethan’s here…” He says as an explanation. “So?”

He turns freeing his hand and facing Zayn with an incredulous look on his face. “So…am going to let him in?”

Zayn looks at him as if he’s grown tentacles. “What? No way!” He gets pushed towards the bed as Zayn makes his way to close the door. “You’re not going in front of him without clothes on!”

And wait what! _Really?_ Liam wants to laugh and tell him about the countless time he’s been naked before his friend. He was his roommate for god’s sake! But he saves it for future use. Instead enjoying Zayn grumbling away. At shirt and joggers is thrown his way.

Chuckling, he pulls his T-shirt over his head. It might be unfair. Cross that! It’s gonna be highly unfair but he’s willing to pull out all his cards to be with Zayn. Or at least to get him to admit that their feelings are mutual. And Liam’s not walking towards a dead end.

 

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Frankly, and Zayn is not being judgmental, but the Ethan kid looks like a horse. Too long legs, wiry than even Harry’s, an oval-ish face with sharp tawny eyes jumping all over the room. His body is covered in over sized baggy clothes. His teeth are set in a nice straight line, when they had peeked out when he had smiled tentatively at Zayn’s death grip of a handshake. Sandy brown hair, curly and long from where a tuft is poking out of the horrendous beanie. He looks homeless.

And horse like.

The boy is sitting on the edge of the couch, fidgeting with his jacket (looks more like a raincoat if you ask Zayn) under Zayn’s unfaltering stare.

“Nice place you’ve got here.”

“It’s not mine.”

Zayn shoots down the feeble attempt for a conversation.

He wasn’t meaning to do that. But seeing Liam literally light up like a Christmas tree for this Ethan thing coming, bothered him a tad bit. He thanked all the gods that he was there in time or else these two would have met while Liam was in his towel. The thought itself makes him want to push his head inside a volcano.

 

A squeal and thundering footsteps startle them as, Liam runs into the room wearing a grey shirt, wet at his shoulders from his hair and maroon cotton shorts. Showing off his strong and sturdy thighs.

And nope! He didn’t meant to be cataloguing Liam either. But- oh fuck it!

“Ethan!!”

Zayn doesn’t know what comes to his mind but he quickly places himself in between the two, successfully stopping Liam from launching himself on Ethan, who stands hands midair as if to catch the other boy. HA! As if Zayn’s going to let that happen.

“The guy just reached Liam! Let him take a breath then you can strangle him all you want.” Cringing at those last words he quickly sends a sweet smile Ethan’s way, as if to assure him about his good intentions. Liam looks like he wants to argue but Louis beats him to it.

“Ah Zayn! Don’t be a nanny now! Let the two have their time!” Louis makes his way towards Ethan, effectively sidelining Zayn. “I’ve been a pathetic host I believe, leaving you in the care of this half dead bore instead of my charming self.”

“It’s no bother!” The kid cuts in with an excited sparkle in his eyes, and gives Louis a hug and whoa! When did they become hug buddies! “I loved Zayn’s company!” Zayn snaps his head towards the horse kid. He hadn’t given his name.

“Liam’s talked so much about you all! It feels like we’ve known each other in some parallel universe!”

“Isn’t it like too hot outside to wear a jacket?” Zayn blurted. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

“Oh I just recovered from hay fever so…” Ethan trails away as Liam comes over and slaps a hand on his head, placing it on his cheeks to get the temperature.. “Shut up! Why din’t you let me know! I would never have forced to come here so soon.”

“No way!” The sick boy in question wails, wrapping his spidery arms around Liam. “Never. Could never miss out on this Li. You know I’ve been dying to come here. I can’t let you rob me of that.” Zayn purses his lips to stop himself from snapping. He clears his throat before Louis can start cooing.

“The dinner is getting cold. We should be going back at it!” He was hoping for cheerful, but he just sounded flat and grumpy. Louis turns to with an expression of “ _you’re not being so subtle babe_ ”; Liam however gives him a warm mischievous smile before pulling Ethan by his potato sack of a jacket towards the set table.

 

Zayn starts to follow but is dragged backwards by Louis. “What!”

“Oh Zaynie, I can’t say am not happy to see you mother henning Liam, trust me it’s a treat to sore eyes! But babe you’re going to scare the kid away.” And really he sort of wished that would happen.

You could call him a sadist. Not letting himself have Liam and not wanting to watch any other person having even a slightest chance of having the boy either. But it hurts and Zayn can’t control himself. It’s not intentional. Not completely.

“Hey! Unravel your knickers Zee, and bring me that cool artsy ass you got. We can’t give Liam’s friends the impression that we’re a control freak stalkerish family. C’mon Zayn!” Louis looked half crazed, like he would literally pull his eyes out if Zayn refused. So he hums and lets Louis fist bump him before stalking towards the kitchen to get the food.

_Cool artsy my ass._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more to be added here. I won't add a chapter, i'll just update this one. Tomorrow. Payne Promise.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read it Thank You Very Much! and a Happy Liam Payne Appreciation Day to you!
> 
> PS: Tumblr -starkziam (just in case :P)


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